Sitting here reading comments online about mental health, I thought I would write about how I solved my puzzle. Looking back, I am reminded of a time when so many of us didn’t talk about mental health. Part of that was the era we grew up in, for me the macho 70s was everywhere. I can still hear my Grandad telling me not to turn on the water works, when crying. Everything was suppressed and was for me for many years. Part of that was this need to be and act a certain way I think. I laugh about it now because I know I have solved the puzzle around mental health.
As a child I always loved a puzzle I loved the challenge putting all the pieces back together. I think back to when I was diagnosed with chronic kidney disease in 1994. That was my first experience with depression in terms of how I felt. How low I was and what was happening to me. This big strapping lad at 26 was suddenly taken down by kidney failure. I felt hopeless not being able to solve it myself and work out the puzzle.
Of course, back then mental health was not two words that we ever considered using. But looking back I know how I felt, part of this why me? that kept going round in my head. Why do these things keep happening, it feels like taking one step forward and two back. I know not speaking to anyone was wrong now, as I bottled so much up for so many years. But I also feel a certain pride in that I managed to solve the puzzle, or at least part of it.
What I mean by that is, I found I was using my adversity as a strength. It became like this bank I would visit in tough times, as I made a withdrawal. I was determined to put myself back together after my transplant in 1995. It was all about trying to feel normal again, or what I often refer to as, my ‘new normal’. I realised I was never going to be the same as before kidney failure, but I could live with this new normal.
Health and a Secure Home
So much of that I put down to being rehoused in social housing. I literally had to start again with nothing, but it was the security I needed. That helped me keep myself healthy, as well as get back to work and it helped me a great deal. Its one of the reasons I talk as often as I do about fair rent and social housing. The link to your physical health and mental health, is something I think has been forgotten.
Mental health and what I have been through, has also shaped my world view. How I see various issues about politics and health, as well as on housing. Coming out the other side of mental health as I often put it. I solved the puzzle of myself, I now understand why and how it was all linked. Our own lived experience around wellbeing, can be the key that unlocks the door for ourselves and others. Opening the door as we explore peer support, both informally and formally. There now seems to be more debate about mental health than ever before. That can only be a good thing. It’s good to see more of a focus not just on mental health and wellbeing. But also, on lived experience and listening to our different perspectives. Listening to our different views and perspectives, can help us more than we realise. Keep well Stuart.
